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When I was a crook, I invented an alphabet an 0-9 in my own symbols. I memorised it and threw away the key and all the tick lists, ins and outs were written so. When I was raided once, the old bill found pages of it and threw it away, confused by it along with untold sealer bags of finger and toenail clippings (I don't know, I weren't very well), discarded the evidence. I also wrote erotic stories of lesbian domination in earlier days of internet when I first started to learn to write. I had untold women fans who told me they had to change their panties because they couldn't stop flicking themselves off to my stories.

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